I suffer from a variety of mental illnesses, including depression and anxiety. I am able to function in public but not so well in private. For example, I have a job that I am good at, but cannot keep on top of household chores.

Basically, my house is messy, filthy and full of stuff. I am starting to feel a bit better thanks to new meds, but it's got to the point that I don't actually know how to clean my house / keep it clean. I'm vaguely aware of what needs cleaning, but not how often it needs to be done or anything.

Would anyone be willing to help me with a kind of 'cleaning checklist' or something I can use as a guide to try and get / keep this under control? I am already trying to get rid of clutter. Any advice / cleaning how tos etc would also be useful.

I know this might sound crazy, but procrastination and second guessing are symptoms of my illness. I do respond well to clear instructions though, and have to write everything down or I don't do it.

In secrets, because people in the real world know I use DDN.

Thanks.

It may seem silly but flylady.net has made a WORLD of difference to me.

^I tried that website, but got bored within 3 days and stopped. My "clean sink" didn't do much for me. OP, I do encourage you to go to that site and read it and see if it works for you. Also, while I don't have mental illnesses (that I know of), my general personality doesn't lend itself to home maintenance and cleanliness, so you are free to PM me if you want to talk more in-depth about this stuff...I'm working hard to get better at it for the sake of my fiance.

First, it's always best to start with a clean slate and then maintain, so your job right now is to GET to a clean slate.

The first rule of a clean and kept house is to reduce what you have: throw out, donate, or sell absolutely everything that doesn't fit into your most ideal world. If it's clothing that you're not going to wear again, get rid of it. If you haven't worn it in the past year, get rid of it. Especially when you have a cluttered house, just spending time getting rid of trash can often do a lot. I'd try to make a "trip to the trash" and a trip to the goodwill store at least once per week. When moving out of my apartment and going to live with my boo, I ended up donating TONS to goodwill including bags of clothes that I hadn't worn in years, lots of excess furniture, I bought hanging file folders to store papers. Getting into the habit of looking at something and saying "Do I need this? If not, I'm getting rid of it NOW."


Now, before doing a list: do you want instructions on cleaning each room one at a time, or is your personality to do small parts in different rooms consistently? Do you want a checklist for each room, or do you want like a 2-week rotation that includes everything? Those are the two ways that I can think to organize this, however, people usually prefer one or the other.

If you're not in therapy, it's probably something you should be considering. A therapist would definitely be able to help you with this.

Cleaning is actually a LOT harder than it sounds. It's one of the first things to go and it's really, really hard to do when you're depressed. I'm recovering from severe depression and almost a month in it's still not one of my priorities.

Remember to set low, realistic goals. We were doing goals in group therapy one day, going around the table, and I said that mine was to put away a basket of clean laundry. "Are you sure?" the therapist said. "How about just making it 'Put away 5 pieces of laundry'?" That's okay and that's a BIG DEAL.

Anyway, I'm a reader, so two books I like that help with this:

Get it done when you're depressed by Julie Fast

ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Kathleen Nadeau & Judith Kolberg

Even if you don't have ADD I still recommend that one... there's a lot of similarities in the problems you'll run into & the tips are just great.

If you want more specifics or if you have any questions feel free to PM me. Though as I said, be careful not to overload yourself with too much.

If you have the money, I would find a house cleaner who can come and clean it to give you a fresh slate. If you have any close friends who would be willing to help you clean, that would be good too. I don't know much about mental illness, but if you can manage having it all cleaned BIG TIME in one day makes it easier all around.

I also got rid of a BUNCH of clutter when I moved. It is a lot easier keeping things clean when I don't own many material things.

I would also keep Clorex wipes to wipe down kitchen floors, counters, and I even use them in the bathtub when I am feeling super lazy. Here is my schedule to keeping the house clean.

Daily
* Wipe Kitchen counters and floors with Clorex Wipes.
* Open all windows to freshen air.
* Pick up loose sheets of paper and either throw away or put away.
* Take out kitchen trash.
* Clear off the dining room table and put away everything in proper place from the table. I feel that a cluttered kitchen table will make everything look 100% more messy.
* Water Plants

Weekly
* Change bed sheets
* Clean toilet, the bathtub, wipe bathroom mirrors with clorex.
* Vacuum
* Laundry
* Wipe down hard surfaces

Monthly
* Throw away stuff from freezer/fridge.
* Clean out the microwave
* Clean the inside of the stove
* Move the sofa and vacuum under it.

I spend about 15 minutes a day cleaning, and about 1 hour on the weekend doing weekly cleaning stuff. I spend about 2.5 hours a week keeping my house clean. Although that may seem like a lot, keeping on top of things really helps me feel good.

Oh and a super good tip that works for me. I have small get together with friends about once a month. That gets me in gear to clean EVERYTHING so I don't get embarrassed by a messy house!

One thing that helps me get motivated to clean is doing something I enjoy while cleaning. Sounds weird, I know, but here's what works for me: I have a pretty busy lifestyle and don't get a lot of "relaxation" time. So I get myself an audio book, put it on my iPod, and let myself listen to it while I clean! If I've picked a good enough story, then I *want* to spend time cleaning, because the cleaning itself is mindless, and it's an opportunity to listen to a good story. I definitely keep things a lot tidier and cleaner these days...!

I'm glad you posted this question! I too have trouble cleaning; it's both in my nature and also exasperated when I have depression lows. I've tried making my own routines in the past, but they just haven't really seemed to work. I'm going to try this FLYLady and see how that goes, but I hope more people post suggestions and tips!

You're definitely not the only person with this issue. Please feel free to PM me if you want/need to vent about it. I'm lucky I have a husband who doesn't care if the house is cluttered/messy with stray guinea pig hay on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink.

e: ^I do that all the time, too! I love a good audiobook to keep me company while cleaning. Too bad I get distracted by the book sometimes and forget to clean at the same time...

I practically could have written this post. A combination of bipolar disorder and a horrendously messy roommate mean my apartment is always a disaster. The only thing that helps me keep it tolerable is cleaning as I go. Like, when I'm walking through the living room, I'll grab something and throw it in the trash on the way to the kitchen. One thing at a time, just in passing.

I am very organized and clean. My husband and daughter are super messy. They either don't see the mess or don't care. The closest my husband and I got to breaking up was because of the discrepency between our living habits. Even though we didn't have much extra money, we hired a weekly maid. We get along awesomely now. All he has to do is the yard. I do laundry, groceries and cooking. $60 a week for an awesome marriage.

IMO, you are overwhelmed. I can imagine not wanting to clean if you are cluttered, too much stuff and dirty. The idea of doing that much overwhelms me! Maybe a good thing to do would be to start with getting rid of what you don't want or need. If you meet that goal within a certain time frame then you can reward yourself with a maid to come and do all the cleaning. Then you will have two motivators to get it done, and it doesn't seem like an unattainable task!

I agree with a previous poster, getting a maid just once to really clean and get you a fresh start will make all the difference!

I hear you on this. When I was at my lowest, my apartment was always a horrible mess.Do you have anyone close to you that you'd trust and be willing to let help you get started? For me, it often took my father visiting me to get me started. He wasn't judgmental about it, he knew what was going on, but having him there to work alongside helped.

I really like YumYum's checklists. That is pretty much what I do now, give or take a few things. I'm still not the tidiest person, but at least now I clean with some regularity.

Pump some positive music through your house when you're doing chores as well. if you're into music, doing housework can be a great time to listen to a new album in its entirety. That really helps deal with the mundane nature of housework. I also like to burn some soy scents while I'm at it as well to help calm me a little bit.

My best friend is a neat freak (cleaning is her stress relief), so she has come over to my house a few times in the past to help me get a leg up on the mess when I've felt too overwhelmed. She understands that it's harder for me to keep on top of things sometimes and that I handle cleaning differently than she, so she's been very supportive.

I agree with DeStijl, sometimes just having a friend or family member present to help give you a boost makes all the difference, especially when you're so deep in a mess it makes you even more depressed & just perpetuates the cycle of not cleaning.

Years ago I read this advice in a book on breastfeeding and I adopted the routines myself. They sound so simple, it only takes a few minutes, and it makes the world of difference in kick starting the day.

1) Make your bed first thing in the morning when you get up, then at least something is done. If you are fighting depression, it also helps you resist the temptation to crawl under the covers and hide from life. Keep a quilt at the foot of the bed so if you need to lay down you won't have to mess up the whole bed.

2) Fill the kitchen sink with hot water and detergent and soak whatever glasses and stuff accumulated since dinner last night. If you kitchen has reached the "looks like a bomb exploded" point, approach this one sinkful at a time.

3) While the dishes soak, pick up the CENTER of the floor in the living room or whatever serves as your living space. If you try to do the whole room at once, you'll never finish. Just tidy up the perimeter by making neat little piles to deal with one at a time later on, as you're able.

4) Pour some bleach in the toilet and pick up the bathroom. Wipe the surfaces down and put out clean hand towels.

5) Back to the sink. Finish washing the soaking dishes, or load the dishwasher, if you have one. Repeat if necessary.

6) Brush the toilet and wipe down the seat and tank.

7) Do ONE item on your "to do list". This may be dealing with one of the "piles" or paying bills, making a shopping list, sorting laundry or cleaning the fridge, or run the vacuum cleaner over the floors and carpets (all just examples).

Believe it or not....all of this only takes about 20 minutes. It won't leave the place spotless or even ready for company, but it will keep things from becoming overwhelming and will establish a sense of order. As others have wisely pointed out, it is easier to keep things in order when there is order to begin with.

If you find a routine like this helpful, there are other guidelines I can share as well, but it is better if you undertake a little bit at a time.

Good luck.

Keep On Dancing*

sjerose wrote:

My best friend is a neat freak (cleaning is her stress relief), so she has come over to my house a few times in the past to help me get a leg up on the mess when I've felt too overwhelmed. She understands that it's harder for me to keep on top of things sometimes and that I handle cleaning differently than she, so she's been very supportive.

I agree with DeStijl, sometimes just having a friend or family member present to help give you a boost makes all the difference, especially when you're so deep in a mess it makes you even more depressed & just perpetuates the cycle of not cleaning.

This. I am also a stress cleaner and get fairly obsessive about throwing things out and making everything nice and orderly. For me, it would be a pleasure to be allowed to clean in someone else's home. If you know someone like this, ask for help. They will be flattered and excited. I'm excited right now, even though I don't know you and don't get to be the one to clean!