I have flown before. I flew from Alberta to Toronto which is about 4-5 hours if I remember right. I went to the doctor and was given ativan to take for the flight. Even with the Ativan I was in a complete panic. I was fighting off panic attacks, I could not breath right, I could not walk without my legs wanting to give out. It was terrible! On the way back our flight was delayed an hour and I had already taken the Ativan when I found out which meant it wore off on the decent of the plane. I had a panic attack on the plane and burst out crying as soon as we landed. It truly was terrible.

Now I am flying to BC on Feb 14 to surprise my friend for her birthday. I have it all set up with her roommate (who is also my friend) and I was feeling good about it. I was telling myself that I will be fine, that the flight is only an hour and a half, that it will be worth it.

I just looked at my receipt for the flight and started panicking. I am honestly terrified of getting on this plane.

How can I put my mind at ease? I was going to do it without the Ativan but now I am thinking the only way I will make it is by being drugged out of my mind. I also think I am going to steal my brothers iPod and put some dubstep on there and see if that can't take my mind off the fact that I will be 20,000 feet in the air.

Any other suggestions? Or different drugs I could ask the doctor for?

Can you get in to see a counsellor/therapist before you leave? I know it may seem like you only have a couple weeks before you leave and that it wouldn't be much help to only have 1-2 visits with someone, but something may be better than nothing. They may be able to help you pinpoint your fears, walk you through the process mentally to help prepare you for the real thing, and give you good coping strategies.

What is it exactly that scares you? Is it a plane crash? Is it the feeling of being stuck on the plane? Is it the height itself?

Asking yourself these tough (and maybe scary) questions may be a good way for you to really figure out what this fear is about.

For me, when I'm panicking about something I try to remember the times where I've been in the same situation. Even just other times where I felt as panic stricken. When I think about those times, I tell myself that this time is no different and that the panic attack didn't kill me last time, I'll be fine this time too. I let myself know that it will only be a matter of time before I calm down.

A therapist recommended to me that one of the best things I can do is to accept the way I'm feeling. It's okay to say to yourself, "I am scared to do this and I probably am going to feel anxious and panicky at one point. I know that I'm going to end up alright though and that the feeling WILL pass."


I hope this helped you somewhat. For me, the anticipation of being scared/anxious is even worse than the original thing that makes you scared/anxious.

If the Ativan didn't work the first time, why do you think it would work now? No doctor in their right mind would hand you a prescription that would constitute you being "drugged out of your mind" for an airplane ride. If you take too much and can't wake up enough to get off the plane, who's going to do it for you?

Seriously, you just need to kick yourself in the behind and get over it. Flying has been proven to be leaps and bounds safer than driving, statistically speaking, so I really don't get the hysteria. Your plane isn't going to crash and you're not going to fall from the sky. Play music, read a book, watch a movie, take a nap, or my personal favorite, look out the window. I enjoy watching the scenery and terrain change. I fly A LOT, and it's really not a big deal at all. It's just something you get over and do.

SaraTheGrouch wrote:


Flying has been proven to be leaps and bounds safer than driving, statistically speaking, so I really don't get the hysteria.

Well I don't understand why people are terrified of snakes since I love them, but they are.

I hate being in a closed space. I hate the fact that there is literally nothing under the plane, just 20,000 feet of air before you hit the ground. It just hangs there. It is the same reason I don't do well on bridges. There is nothing under you, just space. I am terrified of heights as it is ( I got dizzy and weak looking out the window of the 9th floor of my hotel) so being in a tiny space (the plane only has 50 seats) and being that high up really freaks me out.

I was hoping maybe I could take a higher dosage of Ativan. It did not knock me out the first time, in fact it hardly calmed me down at all. I know it works on me though because I had to take it at the dentist office when I was younger in order to get the freezing.

Or maybe there is something else that will mellow me out more.

I have totally been where you are. When I was young I had zero trouble with flying; only when I reached 12 or 13 the idea started to completely terrify me. I even took Valium once to get on a plane; I was so freaked out that it didn't even help. I was in tears through most flights at that point. Even THINKING about getting on a plane made me cry. So trust me: I know what you're going through.

I will readily admit to you that even now I don't care for flying. My husband is the same way--we generally only fly when expressly necessary. But I've brought myself to the point where flying isn't this big terrifying thing anymore; I can get on a plane and actually be, for the most part, relaxed during the experience. I'll share with you the logic that I started to use when I was maybe 16 or so to get myself over my fear of flying. I'll warn you now, it may come across as a bit unkind; but it's what worked for me then, and continues to help me now.


The chief thing to remember is that your thoughts, behavior and comfort level while flying all come down to the control YOU have over YOUR OWN MIND. Remember, your mind is YOURS; you own it, not the other way around. Whether you are terrified or relaxed during a flight doesn't change the safety or outcome of that flight in any way, good or bad. You have zero control. Your mind flipping out and coming up with horrible scenarios before your flight or whilst you are in flight is just that; it's your mind going nuts, not what is ACTUALLY HAPPENING in the present moment. I would recite things of this nature to myself repeatedly in the days before my trips and while I was on the plane. Remember: you CAN separate yourself from your fear. You are the master of your mind, and therefore your fear. Drugs may take the edge off, but they are not going to provide a solution for your fear; only YOU can do that.


The other key to this is making flying associated with pleasant things. Your idea of bringing music aboard with you is a good one. In fact, bring books, games, whatever you need to help distract yourself. Also, chat with the flight attendants if you can. I found that seeing how relaxed they are during the flight, helped relax me further. I also get myself a cup of tea while in flight--get whatever you find soothing. Bring yourself a treat; something you wouldn't ordinarily splurge on (my favorite? Twix bars. ) This can be non-food, too: I personally get myself a new book or magazines for the trip as a treat.


You CAN conquer your fears!! I did. Best of luck to you, and enjoy your trip.

I find that for any fear you want to conquer, the best thing to do is to think about what makes you scared.

Is it because you think it can crash?
If so, you probably already know that there are chances that you die of a car accident than a plane crash.

Is it an irrational fear? For example, I am afraid of worms example and I know they cant hurt me. Yet I scream like I'm gonna die If I don't. For those kind of fears, there isn't much to do on the short term unfortunatly.

What may help:
Tell the flight attendant that you are scared and that you will be taking a medication. I think it's important they know and it can make you feel at ease. They are trained to deal with people who are afraid of flying. People of any age

Listen to the security warnings instructions at the beginning. Might make you feel at ease to know there are life jackets, oxygen masks and stuff. Even if hey are almost NEVER USED. Because most planes don't crash. They are extremely well built.

Gravol: They help with nausea and dizziness... symptoms that you may feel while flying. Also, it's available over the counter (or just ask the pharmacist), it's cheap. Make sure you DONT get the non-drowsy kind. Sleeping would actually be beneficial to you.

Bring an ipod with music that makes you calm, magazines, books, a puzzle, a board game that you can play alone (maybe cards or Rush Hour or ...) so that your brain doesn't have the time to think about the flight. They also have movies.

Snack. I always bring gummy bears or chips. Fun food that will make you happy. PLus having something in the stomach might make you feel better. For some people it's the opposite but bring some just in case. Make sure you find out if food is allowed.

Does seeing outside scares you? Book your seat in advance so you can have the aisle seat.

Good luck! I love flying so much. I find it sad when people don't enjoy it as much. I could spend the day on the plane!

Yeah, Sara, if you've never had a paralyzing fear of flying, it's super easy to just "get over it." Tough love isn't going to make her feel better about this.

Felsa, I've flown plenty before, and I got really freaked out on the 10-hour flight back from Rome earlier this year. I have no idea why, but suddenly I just...I don't know, I remembered where I was, and that planes crash once in a while, and that was enough for my brain to just FLIP out. I ended up having a minor panic attack and everything, it was rough. So I can empathize with you on that feeling.

I've found that the only thing that really helps me calm down when I'm flying is to stay distracted the entire time. The minute I don't have enough to keep my brain occupied (reading, listening to music, sleeping, watching a movie, doing a crossword, whatever), I start to get freaked out. If I'm busy the whole time--which'll be easy for you, it's only an hour and a half!--it goes so much more smoothly. I've also found that as much as I love it, sitting by the window just makes it worse.

Bring a book you've always wanted to read but haven't gotten around to yet, make a nice long playlist, grab some word puzzles or something, and sit in the aisle. It's only an hour and a half; you'll be good.

I don't have much advice, but just wanted to sympathize with you.

I always puke on plane rides because I work myself up so much. What do you usually do to calm down in a stressful situation? I have a habit of chewing gum when I am super nervous, so I carry gum with me in the plane.

For me, it isn't so much the height but being "trapped" in a space.

There are "fear of flying" seminars and clinics, including some in Calgary. Google "fear of flying therapy calgary."

For many it is a real fear. I personally can't help you...I've been flying since I was 10 weeks old...my father was a private pilot and I flew with him in little two-seater fabric covered airplane. I grew up with airplanes and I'm among those who love to fly. While not a pilot myself (a regret) I do have a pretty good understanding of the process. I've been on over 500 commercial flights.

For many it is essential to overcome this, many for business reasons. For some in my profession, an unwillingness to fly could cost a person opportunities for professional growth. For some it is indeed the thought of how high you are. Not to scare you, but the typical commercial jetliner usually cruises between 27,000 and 39,000 feet. Some, as has been said, find the idea of the loss of control upsetting. (I can relate to that, while being a passenger on a plane doesn't bother me, being a passenger in a car does and I am seldom in a car when I am not the driver.)

Flying, particularly commercial aviation, is among the safest means of transportation today...statistically far more so than driving. There has not been a fatal crash of a large commercial plane in North America since 2001 and only two crashes of the much smaller commuter planes in that time. I always like to think that the pilots have as much of a vested interest in getting that plane safely to its destination as I do.

I'd encourage you to investigate some of these "Fear of Flying" therapies, some of which are self-help. There's a big world out there and in many cases the only way to explore it is by airplane.

Jon

You should try hypno-therapy, or a self hypnosis tape. Summer is correct...you can control your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, and you are just allowing this to have power over you.

I do understand fear because I have a totally irrational fear of the dentist, but I can at least sit in there now without crying and making a spectacle out of myself. I am using a hypno-therapist this year to further get over it. If you want to get over it bad enough, you can and you will.

Therapy is really the only way of getting over it for good. In DBT we call it "opposite to emotion action," but it's otherwise known as "exposure therapy" (same concept). Google either of those to find out more about them. It really is all in your mind, and it really is a choice whether to freak out and get scared or not. Once you get past a certain frame of mind, yeah, you lose control, but up until then you're steering the rudder of your brain. You might also want to Google "mindfulness," which is all about being in the moment. If you can master mindfulness it's impossible to have a panic attack at the same time. It's literally moment-to-moment living, so there isn't any time to freak out about anything.

Distraction is sort of the same concept, going in the opposite direction: if you aren't thinking about what freaks you out, you can't be scared about it.

Those all take time to learn, though. For the future, though, a fear of flying is going to bite you in the butt eventually, so you might want to get on that.

Otherwise, yeah. Take an Ativan and make sure you time it right. I would highly suggest not taking it until you get on the plane, because you need to function until then; maybe discuss it with a flight attendant before you even start boarding? That way you can avoid it kicking in while you're in the airport or wearing off before you land. I wouldn't get only one pill or anything, in case of delays or whatever, or if you want to fiddle with the dose. If it didn't work before, I'm sure your doctor would be willing to up the dosage, or write the script so that you can take a certain amount and if that doesn't work, take a second dose. You need to be careful with that, but it should be doable (and yes, they will write scripts that way even with controlled substances like Ativan).

If you're going to be drugging yourself on the plane you need to be extra-careful that everything is set up ahead of time, and that all you'll need to do is wake up and get yourself off the plane. So be mindful of that.

Therapy is really the only way of getting over it for good.

Really? How many DDNers have been on therapy for years and years with no end in sight?

Felsa, read, read, read. Find the cause behind your fear of flying, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't find it out for yourself.

What imaginable aspect of human conduct has not been voted into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) - yes, voted into the book by a panel of "experts", not backed by any demonstrable phenomenon. The psychs want to hook ALL of us on psychotropic (mind altering) drugs "for our own good" - despite the fact that they have had to concoct their own definition of "addictive" in order to claim that any one of these drugs is not addictive.
Spoiler: Show

The USA already is paying more than a trillion dollars every three years to the drug companies and the psychiatrists that push these drugs - without a single cure to show for their efforts.

We all know I'm not good with words unless I'm writing a term paper. Such is life.

What I really meant is... Very much mind over matter. If you have to fly, you have to fly. What else are you going to do? I didn't always enjoy flying, either. But my father is a private pilot (like Jon's) and when I was young had his own plane and would often make me fly with him because he had no alternative methods of child care. Flying in a small 8 seater plane is definitely a lot crappier than flying in a full size commercial passenger jet, I promise you that! But if it's something you have to deal, you deal with it. As I got older and lived 20(+) hours from my family and my fiance, driving wasn't an option when I only had a few days in between classes and work to see them. If you have a strong enough will to do something, you just do it. If it's something that one just can't seem to get over, then perhaps it didn't mean enough to them in the first place.

I personally don't prefer to be in the company of snakes, but I live in a sub-tropical location that has its fair share of swamps and marshes where snakes live and I run. Heck, I often see them slithering about in my front lawn. Does that stop me from hiking, running, or walking through my lawn? Absolutely not. I'm scared of rabid racoons, but do I still walk my dog at night? Yes.

You are stronger than your fears. As Nike says, and as I tell myself every day, just do it.

Perhaps spending time learning how planes (and bridges) work will hep ease your mind. The plane isn't just hanging in the air, there is a lot going on to keep it in the air and there are backups for of all these functions in commercial aircrafts in the rare case something doesn't work, the plane still stays in the air and the passengers wouldn't even be able to tell something is wrong.

Moonlitefairy06 wrote:

Perhaps spending time learning how planes (and bridges) work will hep ease your mind. The plane isn't just hanging in the air, there is a lot going on to keep it in the air and there are backups for of all these functions in commercial aircrafts in the rare case something doesn't work, the plane still stays in the air and the passengers wouldn't even be able to tell something is wrong.

This definitely would help.
Light plane pilots that I knew had a definite procedure whenever they had a passenger who showed any fear of flying. That is the very person the pilot would take with him around the plane on his pre-flight inspection because that person would be looking harder than anyone else for anything amiss; would be very much relieved at the extent of checks the pilot made; and would be amazed at how thoroughly the pilot had that procedure down pat. After all, the farther out of our natural element we go, the more certain we must be of our equipment.

Not only is there plenty of backup equipment aboard an aircraft, but the backup equipment often is made less comfortable to operate to ensure that the pilot has the main equipment back in working order as soon as possible.

Sarah, an 8-seater? That is luxury! I soloed in a Piper Cub J3 - two-seater with a 90 HP engine.

Really? How many DDNers have been on therapy for years and years with no end in sight?

I've been in therapy more than once for different issues and always had an end in sight. I also have never been on drugs even though it was an option once. Please don't label the entire psychological community as evil drug pushers that don't help people achieve happiness and balance.

We all get it....Scientolgists hate psychs. You believe all these diagnosis are scams (ADHD, ADD etc.) Hubbard wrote that, in society, "there's only one remedy for crime -- get rid of the psychs! They are causing it!" That's fine if you believe that, but therapy has helped millions of people and it's okay for people to go and try it and determine if it works for them. I agree that Americans in general are over-medicated, but I also believe some people really need them and YOU are not the person that should be diagnosing what people need and don't need.

I also have never been on drugs

Excellent that you did not let the psychs drug you, but don't tell Heart. She will be appalled.

Hubbard wrote that, in society, "there's only one remedy for crime -- get rid of the psychs!

Be that as it may, what I myself wrote was not nearly so drastic.

We all get it....Scientolgists hate psychs.

If my motive were hate, you would have no trouble finding fault with my cited references and statistics.

Please don't label the entire psychological community as evil drug pushers that don't help people achieve happiness and balance.

I often have quoted psychs who are critical of their own profession. They too do not want to be so labeled. They also don't want patients to be so drugged as to ruin their chances for any real recovery.

But I do want to commend you for your earlier suggestion. Regardless of my feelings on hypnotherapy (at least I have no reason to fear irreparable harm), you did make an honest effort to help the OP.

This sounds silly, but I have this silly little stuffed dog dressed as an Easter bunny with it's tongue sticking out that I bring with me in my carry-on when I fly. My mom gave it to me when I was feeling blue and it just sort of reminds me of good things, and it's so goofy that it's impossible not to smile when I look at it.

Distractions are good. I used to be better about flying than I am now, but the ever-more crowded planes really get to me. For me it's more claustrophobia than it is fear of the plane crashing or of heights. I reread The Hunger Games on my 5 hour flight from San Diego this past New Years. I got so sucked in it I forgot I was even on a flight.

I think the more you have to do with your mouth and hands, the better. Bring along hard candies or vitamin C drops (extra bonus because all that recycled air on airplanes makes me feel gross), and if you have a handheld gaming device or a handheld craft you can do, that can help too. Keep yourself busy.

Thanks for all the replies guys!

I managed to get over my fear of needles of needles at the dentist by being relaxed and telling myself it will only hurt for a second and then it will be over. I now get just as nervous, but I can remain calm about it. I thought I could do the same thing with flying.

Not so much.

My flight leaves in 25 hours and I feel like I am going to throw up. I have no been sleeping, I am scared as heck, I am starting to panic.

I got my brother to upload a ton of dubstep music to his iPod for me to use on the flight so I am hoping that helps a bit. I am also thinking I may just buy a drink on the plane. I know turning to alcohol is not good, but I am willing to try anything to get me through this.

I also had everyone at work trying to calm me down because they could see how stressed out I am about this whole situation.

I keep telling myself it will be worth it and visualizing the look on my friends face when I show up at the door, but not much is helping right now :/

Felsa wrote:

I hate the fact that there is literally nothing under the plane, just 20,000 feet of air before you hit the ground. It just hangs there. It is the same reason I don't do well on bridges. There is nothing under you, just space.

There IS something under you -- the atmosphere! And the atmosphere can be a very powerful thing. Think about it like this: Imagine you're walking into the wind on a REALLY windy day. (You live in Alberta, so you know what I'm talking about!) When the gusts are strong, you can feel the wind pushing you. It is, after all, a fluid, just like water. Now imagine what would happen if the wind was over 100 times stronger than an average windy day. And imagine if you could somehow use the force of the wind to lift you up. That's essentially what a plane does.

You can do this, Felsa!! When you start to feel yourself panic, tell your mind, "STOP! I'm Felsa, I'm a BAMF who doesn't get freaked out on planes." (It's worth a shot...)

So how did it go?

Well, I made it there and back in one piece!

I got to the airport to fly there on Tuesday and I was a mess. I could not eat all morning. I finally felt okay enough to eat but that was a mistake because I thought I was going to throw up once I got on the plane.

Funny story about waiting to get on the plane! I am sitting there and I happened to look up at the TV screen where they were showing news stories (just in writing though so you could read it). Of course as soon as I look up I see "Pilot, 25, dead after plane crash near Montreal" how nice. Then the flight next me got delayed because something was wrong with one of the tires on the plane. Then I get on my plane and they delay us because they didn't give us enough fuel.

I started tearing up once I sat on the plane because my way of dealing with stress is to cry haha. Then we started moving and they teared up more. Then we started taking off and it took every ounce of energy in me to not start crying. Of course I was sitting by the window which meant I could see us taking off even if I was looking straight ahead. I saw us starting to go up and wanted to throw up again. I told myself I could do it though and I tried to calm myself down.

I heard a mom tell her son to look outside at the mountains. I thought either A. keep your eyes shut or B. take the chance and look out because being in the mountains is really relaxing for me.

I took option B and OH MY GOODNESS!! It was the most beautiful I had ever seen! Looking down you could see the snow capped mountains as far as you could see. It was incredible! At that point I got relaxed. I noticed the higher up I went the more calm I was.

I started to panic on the landing for some reason but then I looked around and figured if no one else is freaking out then I have no reason to freak out.

The flight back was much better. It was super bumpy but I was fine with it. It reminded me of being in a bus. I just listened to my music and enjoyed the bumpy ride haha! I was still nervous at times throughout the flight but I did a better job at staying calm and then taking my mind off things.

I am pretty proud of myself for doing it! I don't think my fear is totally gone, but I feel I would be able to get on a plane and fly anywhere I want too.

Thank you everyone for all the help!

Very well done!

What you need next is a hang glider experience, preferably over water that is not too cold. Feel the lifting power of that wing as though it were your own - in fact make it your own. Take control.
Shoe

Congrats it will probably be better the next time you take it. You might end up liking it haha. For your info, the pilot who died... it was a suicide. The plane worked just fine

Felsa wrote:

I started to panic on the landing for some reason but then I looked around and figured if no one else is freaking out then I have no reason to freak out.

Wow, I think you unintentionally just gave some really great advice to ANYONE who's afraid of flying. When people are really scared of something, they tend to retreat into their own minds and everything else around them is kind of blurred out and forgotten. By looking around and seeing no one else was freaking out, you pulled yourself out of your own panic to see that you were in a perfectly okay situation. That may be a little tip for you, and anyone else afraid of flying, to remember.