In November my younger brothers best friend took his own life, he was with my brother so much growing up that he practically lived here and at times it was like having another brother and now he's just gone. He left no note and there were no clues as to why he did this, he was 20.

Then a couple of weeks ago someone who was a member of a youth group I am a voluntary leader at died, she had a rare lung disease and had been put into a medical coma but the decision was made to turn off the life support machine. She was 19, and a really wonderful person.

I'm not coping well with this at all, part of me feels like I don't have the right to grieve the way I am because I hadn't seen either of them in quite a while but I am totally devastated by this loss. I'll be okay for ages then suddenly something not always even slightly will set me off and suddenly I'm a crying heap on the floor.

I am prone to bottling things up and suffered a lot when I was younger with all sorts of issues that I can now put down to trying to find an emotional release, generally they weren't safe so this is way better than that but I am not dealing with it and moving on. I tried dancing it out, when my Nan died I would out on her song and go out on the balcony usually n the rain and just dance about it but even that isn't working now.

I just want it all to go away, if I don't think about it for long enough it's like it never happened. But it did.

{{{HUG}}}

If I were you, I would certainly make an appointment to talk with a grief counselor or a member of your church's clergy.

Your grief can get easier, but the sense of loss will never completely go away. I think though that when you see or hear something that reminds you of your brother's friend or of your youth group member, that means that those people may be trying to contact you to say, "Don't worry about me. I'm alright now. You'll be fine. Know that I will aways be here with you in spirit.".

{{{HUG}}}

This certainly is not mine, but it has brought comfort to many:

Our departed, whom we now remember, has entered into the peace of life eternal.

She still lives on earth in the acts of goodness she has performed and in the hearts of those who cherish her memory.

May the beauty of her life abide among us as a loving benediction:

May the Source of peace send peace to all who mourn, and comfort the bereaved among us.

Thank you so much for your responses, writing bout it actually helped. I didn't think it would and it was very tough to do but it has.

Maureensiobhan I hadn't thought about counselling and am going to make an appointment with one of the pastors in my church so thank you for that.

Schuhplattler thank you that.has brought comfort.

I am in general feeling a sense of peace that wasn't there before, perhaps from the writing or maybe I just needed last nights major break down. E

I lost a friend to a heroin overdose on December 8. It wasn't completely unexpected, but it definitely hurt. I tried to stay around people, talk it out when I needed to, cry when I needed to, write when I needed to. Bottling it up is probably the worst thing you can do. People understand that you're grieving.