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...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Sumayah
On Wed Feb 22, 2012 09:25 PM
Edited by Sumayah (204191) on 2012-03-17 18:20:47 broken link
Locked by Sumayah (204191) on 2012-09-03 14:07:03 New semester, new beginnings, new diary! Muah! See y'all there!

I've been really down lately. I know I'm just burned out, in desperate need of a break. I'm finding it harder and harder to force myself to wake up in time to get ready and go to work. I'm exhausted all the time. Things are stressing me out that shouldn't be. I keep pushing through and pushing on, and then when something stupid happens I'm completely ruined.

Today for instance, you know what, I don't want to write it out again, I'm just going to copy and paste the e-mail I sent to my boss (stuff in [ ] have been edited for safety.
Hey [Boss],

Expect to get a call in the for of a complaint about me from a [douchebag]. He had a movie and a wallscroll on hold. I was tending to the stereo (which is freaking out - shorting maybe? I was trying to find an input where it doesn't cut out after every few minutes. The phone keeps playing the actual stereo drops off, but that's a different subject all together) and he was standing at the end of the counter, right by the bags. He said excuse me, said he had some items on hold, I asked what they were and he made a movement towards the box. I asked him what his name was and he stayed right at the corner of the counter. When I pulled the box out, he saw his business card taped to the box and took a step forward towards me which quite frankly freaked me out a bit (a lot). I then told him I would get and to please go around to the other side of the counter. He then got very put off. I asked him if he had any more items as I didn't see any in the box, he said he did a wallscroll. I got that item from the hold area and rang him up. He then proceeded to confront me about my asking him to stay on his side of the counter. He got back in that same space and asked in a demanding manner if I really thought he was going to do anything to me or the register. I personally felt EXTREMELY intimidated by his domineering manner and he asked where the gentlemen he had dealt with were today. I said not working today. He continued to question my ability to discern a threatening person from him (a doctor) by coming back to the end of the counter and leaning into the space. He said, I hadn't dealt with him, I didn't know him from Adam, to which I replied, and that's why I do not want you behind the counter, I don't know you. He continued to yell at me regarding my demeanor and how I represented the store (considering he was a paying customer) and how I had a bad attitude. Eventually he left and I was (and am still) visibly shaking from the exchange. Some customers were int he store and couldn't believe his behavior and even offered to leave their number in case he calls back as they would be happy to be witnesses to the events that transpired. I told them that wasn't necessary, but appreciated the offer. So, if a disgruntled customer calls, that's what went down. I felt very, very intimidated by his behavior and I admit I was rude to him, I curtly handed him his items and his receipt as he kept doggedly pursing why I reacted the way I did to his presence. So I was indeed rude to him, and I did stand my ground that I did not appreciate his presence behind the counter. Sorry for the novel. I get really wordy when I'm upset. Anyway, his business card is still here, note to self, if I ever natural health professional, he's not who I'd ever choose.

So yeah.


I was/am still wreck. I left and went to to the studio to teach class and changed clothes and then sat down on the floor in the teacher lounge and cried for like 5 minutes straight. I pulled myself together, splashed cold water on my face, put on fresh make-up, and went down to compose myself and teach my classes. After work, in the car driving home I was fighting tears. I went for a walk with A, I'm trying to do at least a little something physical to motivate myself into losing the the 20 pounds I gained since September. But I'm still feeling awful. My head hurts, I'm tired. But I know that sleep won't make me less tired. I'm not going to wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. I'm going to wake up tomorrow feeling exhausted like I didn't sleep at all.

I do my damndest to be happy and positive and cover over the fact that I hate how I look, I hate my job (retail), that I really am starting to hate everyone around me. But it shows. Through cracks in the facade, chips of paint flaking off showing the ugly insides, the black, cold heart and oozing hatred that I've been spraying perfume on and dressing up with jewelry and flowers. But what is rotted and foul can't be made beautiful. You can make it presentable from a glace, but any deeper probing reveals the awful truth, that it's bad.

I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of the facade. I'm tired of slapping a cheery new coat of paint on hoping no one notices me. Just getting by through the use of invisibility. Blending and receding into the background, there, certainly, but in the shadows and the corners and out of the way, feet pulled in so no one trips over you. I'm just so tired and frustrated and completely empty. I'm tired of being overweight. And I'm not even that overweight! I'm (legitimately) big boned (my wrist measures 6.75" around) and 5'6" and currently wear a 10-12 in clothing. Not that overweight according to size But I am. And I'm miserable. I need to lose like 40-50 pounds but I can't seem to motivate myself enough to actually DO anything about it. I'm so tired. I just need a break.

I love the color grey. It's my favorite color. When I'm happy it's peaceful, when I'm sad, it's expressive. This is what I see right now:
Image hotlink - 'http://images2.layoutsparks.com/1/167890/her-tears-grey-puddle.jpg'




Melancholy.





I've always loved the idea of the four temperaments. But that's a subject for another day. I'm going to go take a shower and go pass out til tomorrow comes. Maybe then I won't feel quite so thoroughly down and depressed and just lackluster. I doubt it. I feel this way in one way or another daily, I can't shake it. Anyway.

Also, I'm totally in love with Dessa, I love her lyrical capacity. Here's where the title of the diary came from:

And watch this to understand. Also, Image Source.

188 Replies to ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head

re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By ballerinatwirler
On Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:21 PM
Hugs! That customer sounds like a real winner. I've dealt with quite a few people like that at my last job. One of the winners I had was an older man with a cane who was upset we didn't get something in the shipment that was supposed to come in. We asked him if he wanted to place an order for it and have it shipped to his house free shipping and it would be there faster then our next shipment. He started to follow me behind the counter and I told him he was no permitted back there so he took his cane and start hitting the counter ( glass counter). I threatened to call security on him so he ran out of there and never returned.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By mandakp
On Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:53 PM
(HUGS)
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Feb 23, 2012 06:32 AM
It broke my heart to see how upset you were last night. I wish I could've walked to Austin & given you a huge hug & (a low fat/low calorie?) cookie. You've been such a help to me & I admire you more than I can say. You might feel rotten & gross, but you aren't. You're beautiful & a bright spot in my life. I don't think I tell you that enough.

Anyway, enough babbling. You rock & if you want a long distance diet/healthy eating buddy, I'm all for it. ;)
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Luthmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Feb 23, 2012 01:58 PM
I think you handled that customer quite well.
Whenever I feel threatened or have to deal with a tough customer (like i did in my internship) i tend to give things out of hand to a collegea because Im scared.
So you confronting him and holding down the fort, well kudos for that.

Its okay to feel sad and depressed. Honestly, Ive been wondering how you manage 2 jobs at once and just be able to keep going! I know for most people on DDN 2 jobs is pretty common, but since I cant work and am at home all the time, anyone who is able to work fulltime or even more than that (like you) I truly admire.

Im glad you have people around you that care for you and listen to you, and I hope you'll start feeling a little bit better soon or atleast see a brighter color than grey.
However I do love grey myself.

Big HUGS!
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Thu Feb 23, 2012 02:27 PM
Okay, I did three positive things today. First, I bought a pair of roller skates and A and I are going to go skating on Friday after work. I tried them out today, taking a short trip around the block. Man if this doesn't start getting me in shape, nothing will! It's working my core and inner and outer thighs which is awesome. And my balance. Oh yes, my balance. Second, I called and made an appointment for a mani/pedi with the Groupon I purchased back in Dec. I will use it over spring break, I think I'm going to do something fun and shamrock inspired for St. Patrick's Day. The third thing I did was I called and left a message to schedule an hour long massage and facial (also bought via Groupon) for the week of spring break. I'm going to get some pampering and relaxation in.

I know I'm going to feel better once I start being more active and once I get some time off. And Mass Effect 3 comes out soon and I am very much looking forward to that. But seriously, right now I just feel completely wiped. I could go and sleep the rest of the day away right now. It's just good that I love my Thursday classes - I always come home feeling better than I left. It's just a long day. Teaching 7 classes in a day used to be cake, but now, oh my gosh.

“Beauty and sadness always go together. Nature thought beauty too rich to go forth Upon the earth without a meet alloy.” - George MacDonald

I love that quote. If you haven't read any of George MacDonald's fairytales, you should. Ugh. I just need to snap out of it, but today I'm feeling this:
Image hotlink - 'http://images2.layoutsparks.com/1/222890/dandelions-flower-grey-image-31000.jpg'

This has been playing on repeat in my head.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Sun Feb 26, 2012 09:26 PM
I went roller skating on Friday night with my sister, and we walked 2 miles today. I also got on the glider for the first time in a long time and spend an episode of Castle breaking a sweat. Tomorrow night we skate. Now to get on board with my nutrition. Time to reign it in and start counting calories. Grr. I feel good having done something but ugh I feel gross. I did it before I can do it again, I just can't go off the deep end.

Image hotlink - 'http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4130/5005902836_c31b92f165.jpg'

One foot in front of the other right?
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Luthmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Feb 27, 2012 02:05 PM
Its awesome that you did all this workouts! Kudos to you!
I wish I could rollerskate but with dislocating knee discs im afraid to take the chance =(

Isnt it great that you can work out AND watch your favourite tvshows? I tend to do that alot too, helps distract me from the actual workout.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Feb 28, 2012 06:56 AM
That blanket looks too cozy. I want to curl up in it with a cup of tea & watch Firefly now. Thanks. :P Too bad I'm at work.

I'm sure after a month or so of regular skating, you'll be impressed with how awesome your body will look. I'm hoping I can stick to silks long enough this time to actually see results.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Sumayah
On Tue Feb 28, 2012 08:01 PM
Edited by Sumayah (204191) on 2012-02-28 20:02:29
Edited by Sumayah (204191) on 2012-02-28 21:15:03 Because I just drank a liter of water and it's counteracting the wine so the tipsy is mostly gone, to which I s'pose that answers a question I ask later on, so this is like a post premonition. A postmonition? Preja vu? Just read my post and you'll understand. Also I didn't fall. Spoiler, haha! Night folks!
So sore from yesterday! Ugh, I should get on the glider and work up a sweat but is it okay to exercise while tipsy? Hmm. I fixed meatloaf veracruz and glazed carrots and quinoa tonight. Altogether a healthy dinner. The meatloaf was made with 2lbs of low fat beef, 2 eggs, bell pepper, onion and seasonings and the veracruz sauce. The carrots were cooked in low sodium chicken stock, and I used stevia in place of sugar. And the quinoa is just plain boiled quinoa with a little butter. Well, the two glass of wine probably count against me but WHEEEE !

I'm feeling this tonight:
Image hotlink - 'http://spinsandneedles.com/stuff/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/building-graffiti-001-1024x768.jpg'

Oh-kay! Time to put on my sneakers, turn on some Castle and spend the next forty minutes getting dehydrated, ha! Also, to my pen pals, I've been lax in writing, so when I do I'm enclosing a small, personal gift and I'll explain why it's cool in your letter. :D Yay! Feeling good right now. YAY wine! YAY being sore from skating! YAY my abs hurt! I'm gonna be hot by summer time. Yes. Most definitely. Huzzah! Off to exercise (and maybe fall over).

ETA: 40 minutes of exercising done.
Also, another favorite song my years past.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:45 PM
Image hotlink - 'http://monkees.rhino.com/photos_large/photo199_500x677.jpg'
:( RIP Davy Jones. I'll retell this story again, I told it several diaries back. But I've always had an affinity for Davy Jones because of it.
But that's not what makes my mom interesting. For a while she was a model. A real, honest to goodness model. She worked the runway for Neiman Marcus, and modeled overseas in the 60's. My mommy was so gorgeous! I've seen some of her modeling shots, she has these huge chocolate brown eyes and this cute little pixie cut. Tiny waist, long legs. So pretty! It was during a trip back home that she got to go on a date with Davy Jones of the Monkees. One of them had a house around this area and she says it was a nice date, that it was funny, they were driving in a car when Daydream Believer came on the radio and she looked over to see they were both singing along to it!

I've got a record at home and I definitely have some Monkees on my ipod. I think I know what we're dancing to for tap tonight.

Sadness. so my good healthy eating went by the wayside with the advent of the rain and my proximity to Red Robin. Steak fries and ranch dressing? Hell to the yes. I'd feel more guilty if it weren't so tasty. But I skate tonight (assuming no rain). Maybe I skate a little extra? We'll see. One day of spinning out on fries isn't too bad so long as I keep it to one day.

No massage over spring break, boo. They're booked til April. So I scheduled it for April. Which sucks because I don't have any time off so it's going to get squeezed into a long day. I won't get to go home and just relax and chill, I'll get a massage and then spend the next 5 hours teaching. Awesome. I almost don't want to even bother now.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Luthmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Feb 29, 2012 01:21 PM
I know that with shipping and everything sending letters takes a long time so dont worry about it! Im already so happy to have you as a penpal!
And lets face it (if you have read my letter yet, dont know if it came in yet) I have lots more time on my hands then you do, so I dont mind waiting a bit longer.
Really its okay :) Just focus on yourself and feeling better.
The massage thing sounds wonderful! Something I could really use myself!
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:44 AM
Edited by Sumayah (204191) on 2012-03-02 13:25:03
I don't know how I'm going to make it through next week. I'm so done. I so desperately need time off. I'm running late consistently. I. Just. Don't. Care. I'm having a hard time even coming up with combinations for my classes. I just can't think. It's like there's a cognitive disconnect in my brain. I feel like I'm so completely apathetic to so much right now, and I'm clinging to the few people in my life I really have an interest in. So, the people I'm making an effort to keep in contact with should feel damn special because everyone else can burn right now. Or not. Don't care.

Eh, I'm not really feeling that negative. I mean, I am, but this is my one source of woe-is-me-life-sucks-why-can't-they-just-leave-me-aloneness that I'm indulging in. This is the direct transcription of the darker inner unhappiness in me. The doubts that cloud my mind, the tiredness that drags me down, the last bit of me I can give before I've run out. That thought actually crossed my mind. What happens when you've given yourself so wholly that there's nothing in you left to give; that you feel the need to meter it out in constrained amounts lest you run out and find yourself completely hollow and empty? There shouldn't be a budget on giving and love, there shouldn't be rations. I swear, it's as though I'm trying to create a human affectation of myself from the very air just to keep going. I'm moving through the motions and putting on a really good show if it - I don't think anyone besides you guys know I'm really feeling this completely drained and full of acrimony. So there's that at least.

But for every dark shadow, there is a point of light shining. Shadows are only as intriguing as the object casting it. I decided a while back that if I were a superhero, my superpower would be control of the shadows. So long as there is light, there will be shadows and unlike Peter Pan, people can't lose their shadow. It's always there, even in the dark it's lurking, waiting for a spot of light to fall on you before it consumes you whole. So I would control those shadows. Imagine your shadow reaching up from the ground and grabbing you, rooting you in place? Or that jacket on the bedpost that looks like a monster on your wall really grow arms and eyes and teeth and terrorize your wakefulness until exhaustion and fright drives you to the point of being unable to function? A great power indeed. But I'd also like an AOE (area of effect for all you noobs) chaos field. I'd call myself Bets. It's a bit of a pun really. I mean when I'm around all bets are off right? Ha.

But getting back to my prior thought, for every shade of grey there's a mix of white and for every shadow there is light. I just have to turn around and realize that the shadow I'm casting isn't in front of me, but behind me. I need to focus on the light and and the good and let my shadow and all the distraught uneasiness fall behind me.
Image hotlink - 'http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/051/6/b/spiral_texture___grey_by_hkw1994-d39z9pk.jpg'

So here's some positiveness. I bought plants yesterday. I bought shrubs for our new storage shed and they're evergreen and bloom with pink flowers in the spring and summer. I also got a bird bath. And I bought a tomato plant and chives and cilantro to add to my container herb garden. Also I'm down a few pounds since Sunday. That's good. I'm going to skate tonight. That's also good. It's been rainy here in the mornings so here's some rainy day music for you:

Erm. Nevermind. The song I want to post isn't anywhere on the internet. Maybe next time. Maybe I'll just upload it when I get home. :P

Oh and another good thing! I'm making burgers tonight. I make good burgers.

ETA: Also, annoying co-worker L has discovered that my affection can indeed be bought with sushi. She is succeeding in rising in my esteem. I <3 sushi.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Sat Mar 03, 2012 11:56 PM
They say that choosing to smile and be happy takes the same amount of work as being sad and depressed. They're wrong. Forcing oneself to smile and be happy is as daunting as building a lifesize replica of Stonehenge out of legos and sugar cubes. I think I'm making myself sick. We had pizza tonight and I wish I hadn't. It hit my stomach and made me feel ill. I finally went to throw up but all that came up with blood and bile and mucus. Awesome. I'm turning in my resignation to job #4 tomorrow. I can't work seven days a week. I just can't.
Image hotlink - 'http://www.wallpapers-free.co.uk/arts/expressionist/edvard_munch/the-sick-child-in-grey.jpg'
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Sun Mar 04, 2012 07:37 PM
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 2)
By hummingbird
On Sun Mar 04, 2012 08:29 PM
Hugs from another seven day a weeker.

Hugs, hugs and more hugs.

Yay, I love Canadian dance season, this will stop for me at the beginning of May.

I hope your seven day a week stint is almost at it's end.

Hugs again.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Sumayah
On Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:49 AM
Edited by Sumayah (204191) on 2012-03-05 11:19:19 Nomness.
Image hotlink - 'http://favim.com/orig/201102/25/Favim.com-2215.jpg'

I feel good today. I turned in my two week notice at job D, so hopefully yesterday was my last day to work Sundays. But even if I work next Sunday, it's not the end of the world, just completing the act was huge release of stress.

Yesterday I worked 4.75 hours and then came home, cleaned the carpet downstairs (darn dirty animals), the kitchen, and planted all my shrubbery around the storage shed. Okay, I've been so caught up and overwhelmed in my head that I haven't been able to think straight or find any positives which is a shame since there's a lot positive happening right now.

For the past 8 years I've parked in the driveway. B got to park in the garage because he had the nicer car and then when I got Alistair I was unwilling to change my parking habits so he continued parking inside and Alistair braved the conditions outside. I'm not one of these super weird car people, if it gets dirty, well, so? I park outside, it's not like it's going to stay shiny. Anyway, all of our stuff lived on my side of the garage - the lawn mower, edger, tool box, shovel, misc boxes of stuff. You know. Stuff you accumulate but can't yet part with and don't have room for anywhere else. Anyway. We've both been working super hard (as I imagine you're well acquainted with) and we were able to save enough money that we can do some projects. One of those projects was buying a utility shed for the backyard. So we did that, hired a contractor to build a foundation for it and assemble it and B moved all the stuff into the shed. So now I can park in the garage. Yay! It feels weird and I forget to hit the garage door opener every time. That's the other thing we've done thus far, we put a garage door opener on the thing, B's been manually opening and closing it since he started parking in there.

So yesterday I planted this pretty evergreen shrubbery around the shed. The leaves are green to burgundy with hot pink flowers. The shed is white and grey so it look nice together. I also got lights to put inside the shed. It's coming along. We bought paint way back in December, but didn't have the time or ability to paint then, so we're painting the upstairs a nice crisp white. It's amazing what a fresh coat of paint will do. Then we're getting a new tv for the upstairs living room since the old one has been repaired once already and is on its last legs.

At some point in the future, we're going to replace the fence outside since it's starting to rot, get a sprinkler system installed, and put tile in the downstairs since the carpet is 10 years old and showing its age. So good things are happening and I'm extremely thankful that we're in a position where we can do this with minimal debt. We've been saving enough to pay for property taxes this year and have enough in the account to pay for bills and what we put on the credit card will get paid off within the year. Not bad. All in all, we're doing okay. I mean we never have money it seems like for superfluous stuff, but it's because the money we have accumulated has a purpose.

I've also been taking a natural supplement to help with depression. I think it's finally starting to kick in. Finally. Or maybe quitting and having Sunday off is all I needed to do to get out of this funk.

Anyway. I'm in love with the song I posted, I love her voice. I had to post it last night so I wouldn't forget. I'm kind of obsessed with that song right now. Also, MASS EFFECT 3 RELEASES TOMORROW!!!!!!! :D

ETA: I also got kolaches and klobasnek this morning to have with my coffee. I got up, started to finish my laundry, got the doggies bathed and then went to find something for breakfast. I wasn't in the mood to fix more quinoa or make bacon and eggs. I'm pmsing pretty hard, so I decided to get my coffee brewing and go fetch breakfast. I got a cream cheese and a lemon kolache and a jalapeno/cheese/sausage klobasnek, came home, warmed them up and fixed my coffee (the coffee is cinnamon hazlenut flavored and I fix it with cinnamon vanilla creamer and whipped cream). Upon finishing breakfast I felt immediately better about life in general. I finished my laundry and got my stuff together and went to work by 11am. So far it's a good day.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By hummingbird
On Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:20 PM
I first heard Video Games at a dance convention back in October and I knew then you'd like it :D

I went back home and forgot all about it until I started hearing it on the radio a few weeks ago, it might be a bit longer than that, all the days and weeks are blending into one at the moment.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:30 PM
I rarely listen to the radio anymore and I had heard it a while back, but forgot about it. But then I heard it yesterday and went, right, I liked this the first time too. So I downloaded it and fell in love with her voice. It makes me want to break out Mazzy Star and have a grey, rainy day at home.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Mar 05, 2012 01:12 PM
I feel much smarter now knowing that a kolache is a doughnut. Though when you said you got something with sausage & jalepenos, I was like "That's one weird doughnut". Then I realized it was something else.

I so pretty. *bats eyes*
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Luthmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Mar 05, 2012 01:39 PM
I think its amazing you were able to hold up so many jobs at once. But its good that you quit your sunday job. Just a day for you to relax and take time for yourself. Much better.

I had no idea kolache was a doughnut, what language is that? oO
I feel stupid now but please keep in mind Im dutch and english is not my native tongue :P
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Mon Mar 05, 2012 01:39 PM
Not a donut. A pastry yes, but the bread is much denser, more like a biscuit or a scone but they aren't a biscuit or a scone. And they are filled like a danish, but again, way denser. The klobasnek is closer to a pig in a blanket. It's a sausage and filling stuffed into kolache dough.
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head (karma: 1)
By Luthmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Mar 05, 2012 01:56 PM
sounds very yummy!
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By Sumayah
On Tue Mar 06, 2012 01:07 PM
*breathe in*


*breathe out*


Everyone decided to descend on the store at the exact same time, collectively impatient. Today is all right I guess. I'm not quite as up and happy as I was yesterday. But yesterday was the first I've felt sincerely happy in a long time. So I'm still on the high from that a bit.

for lunch I got myself a Thunderclub Sub - the Austin Club and jalapeno chips. Mmm. Alas, everyone showed up about halfway through my eating and the second half got a bit soggy, but it was tasty enough I finished it (minus the soggy bread bits) regardless. Hummingbird, I totally wrote you out a whole long thing and then my session timed out when I hit send so alas, it became a smoke monster on Lost. I'll try again later. :)

Image hotlink - 'http://paintings.name/images/piet-mondrian/Mondrian-grey-tree.jpg'
re: ...the storm clouds, the weather in my head
By hummingbird
On Sun Mar 11, 2012 01:32 PM
Hugs to you, don't you just love it when that happens.
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