Iím male, in my mid-40ís, and rakishly handsome in an Elmer Fudd sort-of-way. My physique is less Mr. Universe and more Mr. Fix-it.
I have two university degrees in science. I also used to have two cats. There are days, when periodic unemployment strikes yet again, that I think the cats were a better idea than the degrees.
I also have two kids. I prefer them over the cats. Not only are they wonderful young ladies who are far prettier and much smarter than I am, but they allow me to use my place on the lofty Parent Pedestal as a soapbox to rail against everything I perceive as not being perfect for the kind of world their generation will inherit.
I drive a compact Toyota, so I can rail about SUVís and oil depletion. I recycle regularly, so I can rail about the wasting our of resources. And I drink rye so I can rail about everything else.
My eldest daughter is into guitars, hip-hop dance and cool boys. My youngest daughter is into horses and Irish dance. I'm trying to steer the eldest onto her sister's path - more Irish I can groove to, fewer boys I have to eyeball.
I was a biologist, then a forestry consultant, then a biologist again, then a professor, then a consultant. Now Iím trying to combine them all into something that will come close to paying the bills.
I live in an over-priced, rented house crammed with a thousand books, hundreds of movies, a half-dozen fine cooking knives and a cantankerous-looking stuffed toad.
I live in western Canada, a good perch from which to observe the passing world because the worst thing anybody thinks about us is that, as a people, we Canadians are ďvery politeĒ. So other people usually donít mind when we criticize them.
Personally Iím old enough to know better but still young enough to try anyway.
I used to teach at a university, trying desperately to get students to stop saying, ďWhat do I need to do to get a passing grade?Ē, and start saying, ďWow, thatís pretty neat. Where can I learn more about it?Ē I think it worked. Once.
I normally donít watch reality TV because I would like to remain normal.
I found my dream house on the internet. It has palm trees, blue floor tiles, a blue-felt pool table, a blue-colored swimming pool, blue sky, blue ocean and is owned by a company which rents it to tourists for $7,000 a week. I donít make $7,000 a week.
I love my kids. Love my family. Love cats. Love peanut butter. Love dark Irish beer (perhaps too much).
I live in a country that everybody says is the best place in the world to live (Canada) but very few people outside this fine nation can find it on the map, nor wonders why they canít.
I awake in the mornings as an optimist, have lunch as a realist, finish dinner as a pessimist, and then hit the sack as a cynical optimist.
I was once one word away from completing the Sunday New York Times crossword. One lousy four letter word.
I like to watch the International Space Station pass over my house; it reminds me of how far we have come. I donít like to get hit on by homeless panhandlers; it reminds me of how far we have yet to go.
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